In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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