I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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