shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
