no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
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Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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