I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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