so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
