Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
