okay pat passed out under dana's car
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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