their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
