we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
