But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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