I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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