marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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