I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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