Do you still have your period?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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