To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't deserve a penis
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
