if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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