that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
