so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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