careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my poor anus
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
