Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
