A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
