she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
