Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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