The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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