There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
