his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
