we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
