you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
