my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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