I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
