why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
