Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize