fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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