I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
