The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
