OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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