Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
