none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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