So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
