Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
