So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize