she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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