please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
