dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
whose ass print is on the piano?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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