college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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