I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize