hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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