i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
