were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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