mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
