I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
