You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
