Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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