i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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